Why the Dog Can’t Sleep (Deranged Gardener Alert)

As the trite old saying goes, “You want the good news or the bad news?”

Let’s start with the good stuff…

The garden catalogues are arriving…Breck’s, Wayside Gardens, and Gurney’s Seed & Nursery Special Edition.  I’m drooling.  Wouldn’t you?  Look at these photos?



What could stop me, right?  I’m physically ready to garden-hardy (Used to be party-hardy, but I’ve grown up. How did that happen?)  It’s time to clean up the backyard and order plants! The credit card is raring to go.  It’s paid off.

I’ve already started planting a few verbena and salvia seeds (winter sowing) which, when ready, will get transplanted once the chance of frost is past.


The remodeling contractor is coming through (thank goodness) to finish the bathroom.  It’s only been since November 17th that I’ve been without a working bathtub or shower.  However, rather than dwell on the negative, I will dwell on the fact that he’s finishing it. Ya!!!!

Let me know what you think. (Not done yet but getting closer.)



And then there’s the very bad news…

Thunder and lightning!….Very, very frightening!  ZAP!!  I was struck by lightning.

Remember that little bitty hip replacement I had 7 weeks ago?

Prior to that surgery, I did my homework.  I investigated two doctors and three hospitals.

1. The orthopedist I decided not to use didn’t discuss the x-rays he took nor did he offer a diagnosis for what my problem was. Believe it or not, we discussed growing squash, summer versus winter varieties. (Nice guy, but he needed to talk about my hip.)  He also told me he performed 250 hip replacements a year. I learned this wasn’t exactly true.  My insurance, however, loved the hospital where this orthopedist practiced.

2. Another hospital I checked into told me I’d have to file my own insurance.  Nope.

3. I decided to use the orthopedist (with a great reputation) who did 400-600 hip surgeries a year and who graduated from an orthopedic residency at the Mayo Clinic.  He did discuss my x-ray and showed me what was wrong.

I asked for and received an estimate of cost from the hospital I finally selected where the great orthopedist practiced: $1,000 for my out-of-pocket hospital cost.  This was doable. The hospital said they negotiated with my insurance.  (I have this estimate on record.)

The great orthopedist’s staff called me and said my out-of-pocket hospital cost might even be reduced to $200.  Even better.

I’ve received tons of bills, and I’ve paid most of these.

I’d not, however, receive the hospital’s bill so I called my insurance and was assured, not once but twice, that my cost would be only $200.00.  Great.  And when I didn’t get that bill for 2 more weeks, I called again.

This time I was told the bill was —— wait for it——–

$107,359.25         GULP!          BONK!

I just fell on my head. That’s as much as I paid for the house I live in.

Next, I was told I would probably owe $30,000.  WHAT?!

When I called the hospital, they conveniently couldn’t remember the out-of-pocket estimate they’d provided.  “We don’t show that,” they said. As mentioned, I have it on record.

So I must wait and wait and wait, (have listened to this song repeatedly) until I get the final adjusted bill. I check for the mail six times a day. Will it be $200 or $1,000 or $30,000?  Can I go back to “These are the good ‘ol days”?

Believe me, if it’s 30K, I will make a big stink.  (I’ll see if I can get them to lower the bill, and if not, they’re in for a smelly situation.)

Music above is how I’m feeling.  There’s gonna’ be a fight!!!!

You probably think this is NOT garden-related, but it is.

Aside from the BIG STINK I’ll make, I thought of sending the hospital’s billing office one of these as a gift for all of their help.

Problem is Corpse Flowers aren’t easy to grow and don’t bloom often.  Darned.

Then I looked at this site.  One of these?  #8  or #10?

Oh wait, maybe I could send them a potted poison ivy?  Cheap, effective, and actually a very pretty plant, and I’m good at growing plants from seed.

I envision this scenario in my mind’s eye:

Hi!  Is this the Business Office?  Oh, good.  I’m delivering from Gail’s Flower Shoppe. One of your patients wanted to thank you for your help with her bill by sending you a potted plant.  Gotta’ go!  (Place it on the counter wearing gloves)  Bye!

Okay, I’m not that evil, but YES, I’m pissed, and a pissed gardener can think up evil things.

So, NO, I won’t be ordering plants from the catalogues above.  Whine.  I planned (past tense) to go to the annual sale at Pandora’s Box, but that’s out too.—I wanted a second arbor. I need to keep my eyes away from the local auction this Saturday.

I didn’t get to sleep until 4 am this morning because of worry and the poor dog, Elly, decided she couldn’t sleep with me tossing and turning.–She jumped off the bed and onto a chair.  See the look on her face?



One thought on “Why the Dog Can’t Sleep (Deranged Gardener Alert)

  1. How awful. It’s good you have things in writing because such a huge difference between estimate and final bill should not happen. Love your smelly plant idea. Our Royal Botanic gardens have a corpse flower plant and it flowered last year. Seemed like something to avoid at all costs. Pictures are enough. And Dogs are so empathic. They always respond to their owner’s feelings. Hope everything is sorted out soon in your favour. Kat

    Liked by 1 person

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